Day 201: Survived

Had the wine tasting. It went fine. Nothing like the pangs I had near the Emerons bar. I guess that shows you never know what's next if you are trying to give up the piss. You can never get too comfortable.

Once again it was interesting to watch everyone (3 people) get pissed with the tasting, all in the name of sophistication (and getting pissed). The more pissed they got the more they raved about how lovely the wines were, and they would have to order them, and all the rest of it. And get pissed again, no doubt, talking about their trip to NZ.

Boring.

They also thought the food was out of this world - it was the PISS talking. The food was so-so.

Ah piss.

Off to te anu today, and the Milford Track tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be a lot fitter around the track this year due to my efforts over the past 201 days.

Day 200: Time flies

Wow, 200 days with no piss. And pretty much over it or so I thought. I've been tested a little here in NZ. Fine in the house. But on holidays, overseas (is there an overseas loophole? come on....), where I had a great pissy time last time. I felt real pangs here. Real physical pangs. First outside a little pub, which has the best beer in the world in it, and second in the supermarket where they stock the best beer around also.

I felt pangs, and almost a little sick or sad or something. A sense of loss, regret and desire.

I had to get out of there quick smart. Fine back at the house, as I said.

But, off to a wine tasting tonight. That will be the test - do I give a shit there. I suspect not.

Have I enjoyed the trip any less? I don't think so. I've really enjoyed it. And if you are hungover, can you really enjoy natural beauty? I think you enjoy it less. Everything is a bit shit when you are hungover, even a nice mountain.

Funny my cousin is coming over as well. Pretty much first SMS was inviting me out for a beer. Declined. Asked him if he wanted to walk in the morning. Got a reply a bit later saying he was 'on the soup' and no chance for morning. And couldn't come to dinner because had booked into wine tasting (which I'm now going to).

So, first night in foreign country. Pissed. Presumably hungover.

Second night in foreign country. Pissed. Presumably hungover.

Look, I've been there. I get it. I've written about it. I've loved it as much as any man.

It is just a different perspective. A drunken one. Different experiences. Different choices.

But it's a choice (at a binge level) that does not lead to one improving one's health, which is where I'm trying to go. And it is a slippery slope. A few drinks and I'd be back on the turps for sure.

So still on track, in beautiful NZ. Off to walk the Milford track on Saturday, for 4 days.

Day ????: Weakness

Well, I tell you what, I think I've found my weakness.

I'm posting from Queenstown, New Zealand. Bloody beautiful place if there ever was one.

Also home to what must be the greatest cravings for a drink I've had in 5 months.

And the trigger: Emersons. It must be the most beautiful range of beer in New Zealand, and probably shits on almost every Aussie beer as well. I had to walk past a little bar here in beautiful Queenstown and I tell you what, the pangs were strong. I had a fantastic time drinking at that bar, and in Queenstown itself, 12 months ago.

And then I went into a supermarket, where they sell beer, and the Emersons was just lined up and I could imagine drinking every beautiful one of them: Pilsner, London Porter, IPA, Strong Ale. I know every one of them would really be something special. And what a beautiful location to drink them.

The pang was almost overwhelming.

Anyway, I removed myself from the aisle and got out of the shop. No Emersons for me.

But I really really really did feel like buying some beautiful Emersons beer, in beautiful New Zealand.

Day 188: Brewery tour

Well, Friday could not have been much more bizarre. Up at 3, walk at 5 (very slow), off to work, called to lunch at last minute, to watch my lunch mate down his beer that came with the meal, and then mine. Then off to, of all things, an intimate gathering of people interested in beer at a local microbrewery hanging off a pub, to meet the guy who has been a brewer for 50 years, try his efforts and then do a tour of the brewery (which is right through the bottleshop).

I asked a lot of questions but didn't drink any of the amber fluid. For that, I brought with me a beer loving young lady I work with, so she drank the beer and smiled and partook in that side of it while I just had my waters and chatted to the beer journos who were there.

All the while fucking exhausted from lack of sleep, which made me act at least as relaxed as those who were drinking. I think I've mentioned that before, but I find it fascinating how I seem to go into 'drinking mode' in a social sense when I am around people who are drinking. I can banter, laugh and carry on with the rest of them, and then when I leave them I'm still in a relaxed, non-work mode as though I have been drinking.

Talk about conditioning! It's a good thing, I think, as it means I don't miss out.

It only works to a point of course. People there yesterday were not binge drinking. You can't fake it to that level, and probably just as well.

I am well and truly off the drink though. At least for now. For the most part I didn't feel any pangs of exclusion or desire or regret yesterday. I didn't even think about breaking or whatnot. The only time I sort of thought about it was when one of the beer guys asked me how I was going and what was it like etc. This again shows how habits can be broken; and how your mind can change if you give it a chance.

I wonder what other habits I could change in the same way for the greater good? Food is an obvious habit, and exercise. I guess cleaning up around the house.....

Sounds a bit dull doesn't it. But I think there is something in a realisation that you can change habits that are deeply ingrained. That would suggest that almost any behaviour can be modified, be it smoking, drinking, going to the gym, working harder or less - anything.

On an intellectual level though yesterday was an example of the good beer can do. It brought us all together. It provided pleasure. It made people feel good, laugh and enjoy themselves. It let me enjoy myself, and I wasn't even drinking.

Not one of the participants was drunk, in a binge sense (at least as I define binge).

I think perhaps had I been drinking though I would have drunk more than any of them. I would have had a pint or so to finish, rather than a few pots. I would have been nicely pissed, a bit raucous, and I would have continued drinking afterwards if I could find someone to drink with me (in this case I would have gone to work drinks back at the office and had a few more).

I would be feeling like shit now, and perhaps eaten shit last night and be thinking about a bakery run this morning.

No way I would have exercised today.

Ah alcohol. How complicated you are.

187: Shithouse sleep

What a shithouse sleep I had last night. Up at 3.00am and not getting back to sleep.

How shit is that?

And I'm off for a walk in 15 minutes around the fucking mountain, at 5am. I'll be completely rooted for that.

I don't know if I've been drinking too much caffeine, or if my mattress is fucked, or if I need to lose some more weight to sleep better or what.

All I know is that I feel like shit for work today and it is only 4.48 in the morning.

I've had a big week or two at work. Bit of stress. Someone I work with said to me, "At least I can have a drink before I go to bed tonight". She was right, although I don't crave a drink when I walk in the door after a shit day.

Theoretically at least my sleep would be even worse with alcohol. Although it's hard to see how that could be the case at the moment.

Day 183: Drink to live!

Christ, look at this:

Moderate Drinkers May Live Longer Than Non-Drinkers

When compared to abstainers or heavy drinkers, moderate drinkers have the lowest mortality risk.

A new study published online in Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research has shown that moderate drinking among older adults is associated with lower mortality rates than those observed in adults who did not drink at all. What makes this study different from previous studies with similar findings was that the researchers controlled for additional factors, most notably non-drinkers who previously drank problematically. In similar studies that do not control for the health problems caused by previous heavy drinking, the interpretation of findings regarding the potential benefit of moderate drinking is more difficult.

The study, led by Charles J. Holahan, Ph.D., of the University of Texas at Austin, included 1,824 adults between the ages of 55 and 65, and controlled for former problem drinking status, existing health problems, and important sociodemographic and social-behavioral factors. When controlled for these factors, the data showed that non-drinkers had a 45 percent increased mortality risk over moderate drinkers. Additionally, heavy drinkers showed a 51 percent greater mortality risk than moderate drinkers.

The authors note that, “The apparent health-protective effects of moderate alcohol consumption compared to abstention may be related to reductions in cardiovascular illness.” The authors caution, however, that these health-protective effects “appear to be limited to regular moderate drinking. Heavy episodic drinking—even when average consumption remains moderate—is associated with increased cardiovascular risk.”

http://www.spectrum.niaaa.nih.gov/newsfromthefield/ModerateDrinkers.aspx

A 45% increased mortality rate compared to non drinkers??? And these are non-drinkers that aren't ex-alcos. Unbeliveable.

Here is more:

RESULTS: Controlling only for age and gender, compared to moderate drinkers, abstainers had a more than 2 times increased mortality risk, heavy drinkers had 70% increased risk, and light drinkers had 23% increased risk. A model controlling for former problem drinking status, existing health problems, and key sociodemographic and social-behavioral factors, as well as for age and gender, substantially reduced the mortality effect for abstainers compared to moderate drinkers. However, even after adjusting for all covariates, abstainers and heavy drinkers continued to show increased mortality risks of 51 and 45%, respectively, compared to moderate drinkers.

CONCLUSIONS: Findings are consistent with an interpretation that the survival effect for moderate drinking compared to abstention among older adults reflects 2 processes. First, the effect of confounding factors associated with alcohol abstention is considerable. However, even after taking account of traditional and nontraditional covariates, moderate alcohol consumption continued to show a beneficial effect in predicting mortality risk.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20735372

Two times more risk? On this study, non drinkers are worse off than heavy drinkers, unless I am reading this wrong?

At least in older people.

What does this mean for me? Well, I think if you are wanting to slim down and look like the greek god who runs through the hills, then being off the piss is very helpful. If you want to live from 50-85, and don't knock off half a bottle of scotch every night ,then it would appear a daily glass of the happy water is the way to go.

Day 182:: No walkies for me

For the second weekend in a row I haven't walked; also had a bit of a crap blowout today....... as for why I guess you'd have to see a shrink.

But I haven't had a drink!!!!

Just need to get off my ass in the morning and walk around the hill again.

Off to NZ in 2 weeks.

Day 181?: 6 months tonight......

Tonight, at about 11.30, it will be 6 months since I was last pissed (apart from that dessert I had which doesn't count). 6 months since I had a drink. 6 months since I was standing, drunk, with embers dangerously close to my hair, as I stood in front of the bonfire.

I did enjoy the pissed bit, although it was the hangovers that really killed me. 6 months ago tomorrow it was a beautiful morning on a beautiful mountain, with my family, and I just sat there, feeling like crap, looking like crap, 1 foot in the grave and not wanting to participate in anything around me.

I have to say it is fucking incredible I made 6 months. I guess you take it for granted because this is a "year off the grog" blog but believe me there were no guarantees. Even though like everyone else who writes about it, "I wasn't an alco", alcohol was a huge part of my life. It still is to be honest - I just don't drink it!! Just last week I was sent a free mixed six pack from a major brewery, unsolicited. It just arrived as I was sitting there. A couple of months earlier another brewery sent me a beer worth $90, beautifully presented as though it was the world's finest bottle of wine.

It is still sitting on my desk.

Just last week I was invited to a craft beer afternoon with the brewer in the Brisbane CBD. I'm going, but someone else is coming with me to do the 'tasting'.

Grog was a massive part of my life. I'm not saying a grog free life is the right thing, but if you think it is the right thing for you, and seems impossible because of all the social and habitual uses of it you have, well, if I can not have a drink for 6 months then anyone can.

That wouldn't apply to any poor sods who have a real medical addiction or whatnot, but if you are a normal drinker who wants to give it a rest then let me tell you it is possible, even if socially you think it is suicide, or if you think your sophisticated or needy habits are too much - they aren't.

Drinking habits can change. And you feel better within 2 weeks. I used to drink most days at home - generally 1, or perhaps 2. I might have more on a weekend - perhaps 3 or 4 on a Friday night at home, more if at the pub. My greatest weakness was a fancy lunch during the week - thinking i was all sophisticated and all. What a load of bullshit. You are just a pisshead, getting pissed, and you don't look sophisticated, you look like a middle aged, overweight lush that young people fear becoming.

And socially? Unless you are with a real young, immature crowd that thinks a good time is going out and getting pissed at a night club every week, then no one gives a shit. You might think they do, but really, like every other aspect of your life, no one gives a shit. Think about it, if someone in your group or at work said they weren't drinking for health reasons, would you really care? You'd just get pissed around them wouldn't you. You might even look up to them, or wonder how they do it. Ultimately, no one cares.

So forget that excuse.

This doesn't mean you turn into a borning, non-drinker. You're not a non-drinker. You're an ex-drinker. You still like a good time. You'd still shag one of the girls on 30 seconds notice if you could. You just had your share sooner than everyone else.

But really, noone gives a shit, unless your peer group is immature (if you are younger), or frankly, a bunch of deadshits you'd be better off ditching (if you are older).

I can't imagine being hungover now. I'd be scared of it. And looking at drinkers around me, they spend their whole time either being pissed, being hungover, or planning to get pissed. Let's not forget alcohol is a drug, and these people are just planning their next hit!!! That's all they do, some of them, although they dress it up in all sorts of cultural bullshit (typically mateship if young or poor or sophistication if well off) to justify it.

How the hell did this happen to every fucking person in my country? Almost.

As for benefits, I'm pretty sure my health/weight has been slowly but surely improving over this 6 month period. I'm probably about 14k down, and even though it has slowed, I'm in a pretty good routine with the exercise and some good has to be coming from it. It makes me feel better if nothing else, and not drinking has let me get in a good routine that way.

On the whole my diet is also better not being pissed or hungover.

I also have a heap more time.

At the moment I can honestly say my life is better without piss.