Day 82: Me falling off the horse

This is the week I fall off the horse. Not with grog, but with exercise and food.

I had a shocker with food yesterday, and ate some crap I haven't eaten in a while. Made me feel like shit, quite depressed really, and reminded me that you feel better when you eat real food.

My calf is still bothering me. I can just feel it when I'm sitting about. I just hope that it goes ok when I test it tomorrow.

I need to get back into something or I'm just going to run in the wrong direction.

Day 81: Little walk

I went for a little walk yesterday. Calf ok, but would not have wanted to do a big walk.

Will try a big walk Sat.

Food was very poor yesterday. Was a bit stressed and ate some crap.

Day 79: 11 weeks

Bit of a risk me being off the exercise like this. But then, perhaps a rest is what I need after trying so hard for the period I did.

Good news is I haven't slipped back on the turps. At the function on Friday night I certainly felt like it. I could have picked up the waiter's drinks tray and drunk every drink on it. That feeling only lasted about 15 minutes and then I was fine.

I haven't had a drink for 11 weeks. That is pretty good. 79 days is a long time between drinks, for a drinking man. I must say the thought of a hangover is foreign to me now. And I'm pretty good at not wanting to have a drink when I'm at lunch or whatnot.

You can change your habits it seems.

My food was really going off last week. I made an effort to cook up a storm on Sunday - lovely soup and meat and vegetable stew. I pretty much did not eat any crap yesterday.

Tomorrow I guess will be 80 days. And so one's life passes.

Day 78: Healing

Well off the exercise while my calf muscle heals. Trying to stretch. Miss walking.

Day 76: Three days off exercise

Well I saw the physio. He confirmed I had rooted a calf muscle. I need to stretch more, and I'm meant to be icing it today, although I don't think that is going to happen.

What a bum.

Apparently you need to stretch it because the tear is healed with scar tissue and you need to get that tissue to know what is going to happen to it or it will just break again.

Big work booze up last night. Lots of piss consumed. But not by me thankfully.

I ate a lot of crap yesterday - more than in a long time. No excuse, but I think it was due to stress from the injury.

Day 75: Fucking calf

Pulled my fucking calf muscle again!

Actually just stubbed my toe, and WHAM, it was away, I howled with pain, involuntarily, and had to reach for a tree.

I had a bit of trouble getting back home from on the hill where I was. In the little bit of uphill I wasn't sure how I was going to do it.

What a shit!!!!!!! I was just starting to feel good around the hill. After so long.

I think I should see a physio. I've got the fucking thing on ice now but it's painful and I need to go off to work soon.

I guess I knew this was coming. Not *this*, but something. There is always something that comes along on a long term health kick and tries to throw you off your game. Often it is illness. Sometimes it is injury. Sometimes it is a wedding (gotta have a drink there haven't you?).

The trick is to not let it stop you. The advice is to rest and get back into it when you are well.

Even though you don't want to stop because you are in the groove.

Got a big firm function tonight. Massive piss up.

Day 74: Off to Milford

Well back to the walk today. Was a bit tough going out there. I can't wait till the sun arrives. It's cold and dark at the moment.

Anyway, the good news. I've signed up to walk the milford track in NZ in 20 weeks.

So I've got a goal. 30kg lost by then. That would be 30kg in 30 weeks.

I'd be rapt with that.

So that's my goal.

Day 73: Day off

Having a day off today. Foolishly hopped on the scales and was a kilo or two heavier than on Sunday with the glorious weigh in.

Shows that:

1) it's really fucking hard to lose weight; and

2) you shouldn't weight your self too often or you go mad.

Anyway, I think it's best for me if I take a day off after 4 days walking. I'm still going to walk on the flat after work, just not on the hill.

I had a really bad pub meal yesterday. Pure stodge. Yuk.

Day 72: Bikkies

I ate some crap yesterday. Walked this morn with mum. Going to have tomorrow off (5th day and all) but try and walk in arvo on the flat.

Day 71: Slow around hill

Bit slow around the hill today. That's my 3rd day in a row. I'll see how I go tomorrow. It may be that I take every 5th day off for sustainability.

I'd like to keep the exercise up this week though, as I'm dead keen to make a further dent in the kilos by this Sunday. I'm thinking about trying to do the longer Cootha walk this saturday.

Exciting 13kg down, but I'm not kidding myself. That's half of my "Stage 1" weight lost.

And I have 3 stages.

Day 70: 10 weeks, 13kg loss (2kg in last week)

I was worried this morning that I wouldn't be down, as I was a bit of pig at dinner.

I should not have worried, as I am down even more today than I was yesterday. 2kg in the week.

I think being off the piss suits me.

I think at 10 weeks it is time for a recap. 10 weeks ago, to the day, I was hungover, felt like shit, didn't want to engage with my family, who were gathered pretty much at a reunion of sorts in a beautiful bush setting. I didn't want to move. I just wanted to get home. I looked like shit.

Now, 10 weeks after stopping drinking and embarking on a health kick I am 13kg down, my skin looks 1000% better (according to my sister who looks at such things), my eyes look brighter, I look younger, I am much fitter, I am much happier, I don't fight with my partner as much (very little compared to before), I'm sleeping better, I have heaps more time, I'm in a great exercise routine, I'm eating better, I feel positive about the future.

Did I mention I was 13kg down?

So I guess it is worth repeating 'how have I done it' for all the fat pricks out there confused as to why they are fat (I'm still a fat prick, I'm just not confused):

1. cut out the piss - essential as far as I am concerned;

2. get into an exercise routine that your body cannot ignore, at least 5 times a week - I'm walking for 1 hour 45 minutes up and down a mountain most days - I think an alternative would be to walk before and after work;

3. eat real food - Pollard/Alice Waters style - I cook a lot;

4. do not eat junk food or low quality food;

5. do not eat low fat food or low carb food or low anything food.

6. do not eat sugar with your tea/coffee.

7 do not count calories.

8. eat more vegetables.

9. eat more olive oil.

10. eat oats

11. i'm still eating a lot of bread and pasta.

12. i'm not restricting myself on the quantity of real food, so it is sustainable.

13. build up 1 thing at a time, over time

14. keep a journal/blog.

15. establish a routine.

16. weight yourself after the routine is established and you are not distressed (and once at the beginning) but not while you are establishing the routine - may take a couple of months

17. keep it up

18. get back on the horse if you fall off.

So where to for the future. Well, obviously I want to reach 15kg, and then 20. But the real number I want to reach is 25 (for stage one). So that is 12kg away. But first up 15 and then we will take it from there.

Day 69: Thinner

Well, I took a sneak on the scales today, and if everything goes well today then I will be down 12 kilos tomorrow, which means 1.5 in the last week.

How good is that?

Don't want to count my chickens and all that but 12kg in 10 weeks exceeds any expectations I had on my grog free health kick.

I have been pretty good with my no processed/junk food this week. No chips (or alcohol) at my group's little drinks last night.

Did not walk every day this week, but I think I will have walked 5 times after I walk today.

What I'm really keen on is to crack 20kg, and then 25kg.

When I've lost 25kg then I think I'll be feeling fantastic, and in a sense stage one of my weight loss will be over.

Anyway, let's aim for 15kg first. 15kg is some serious weight loss. You don't accidently lose 15kg, that's for sure. There is nowhere to hide for 15kg.

And to think I could get there in as little as 2-3 weeks if I work at it.

You know, once your mind set changes, and you do something big like give up the grog, and also do something big like walk around a big hill every day, and clean up your food a little, then the weight just falls off. It really does. I'm not hungry at all. This week I ate out about 4 times, made a rich italian chicken dish, made a rich italian pasta dish, had pizza and risotto last night for tea. I haven't deprived myself at all with the food apart from not eating junk or highly processed food as best I can.

Anyway, let's wait and see for tomorrow.

Day 67: So far so good

I felt thinner yesterday, on my day off. Positive. Silly of course, if you were one of those young fit people, but to me I felt thinner and that is positive.

Food wise, I haven't had a shocker this week. I certainly haven't been dieting as such, and actually ate like a king yesterday at both lunch and dinner, but I haven't been in the food court or the biscuit jar, and that's a good thing.

I did polish off the rest of that beer cake though.

Me mum's coming in about 10 minutes for another go around the mountain. I think I was right in having a day off after 4. I get distressed if I go for more than 4 in a row I think.

If I walk today, tomorrow and sat then I should be in a good position for my weigh in on Sunday. If I don't go down then I think I've got to start looking at the volume of food I'm eating, as well as cutting out the crap and processed food.

Had another lunch tomorrow with a brewer of all people (serious home brewer that is).

I didn't have a drink.

Day 66: Rest day

I'm having a day off today. 4 days on, 1 day off doesn't sound too crazy in Cootha land for sustainability.

Was reading someone else's blog and she commented on how boring it was to not drink (she is over 100 days ahead of me in her year off). I agreed, but for me I guess I've got to think of it as collateral damage. If I was otherwise fit, lean and healthy, then it would be much harder to justify.

But I'm on my once a decade or more health kick and I need to keep going for health's sake. Now's the time. It's harder and too late in your 40s or god forbid 50s. I need to get my shit sorted.

So far so good with the food. I haven't had any crap. A girl at work made me a beer cake, of all things, but she made it with good will and I don't count home made food, traditionally made, as crap. I also ate out but it was vietnamese Pho and I don't count that as crap either.

A cup of chips is crap. A sausage roll is crap.

So that's all good. If I exercise thur, fri and sat then it will be interesting to see if I get anywhere for my big week 10 weigh in. I'll be pleased if my 11kg is confirmed (well, I wouldn't mind a little more.......).

Day 65: Feeling good

Well, 4th day around the hill in a row today, and I feel fine. I didn't eat any processed crap yesterday, although I ate like a king. I woke up feeling good, and leaner.

Had a BIG test yesterday with the grog. For reasons I won't go into I had a photo shoot in my favourite city pub and had to have a beer in my hand, frothing and icy, for about 30 minutes!!!!

How badly did I want to have just a sip???

Anyway I didn't. Onwards and upwards.

Day 64: 1.5kg 11 kg in 9 weeks

Well, hopped in the scales (a day late) and down 1.5 kg since the last measurement. No doubt they are not exact, so it may not be that much and all that, but one way or the other the little number is 11kg less than it read when I started this exercise.

So for all you fat pricks out there who enjoy drinking. Consider not if you want to get into an exercise routine and start dropping.

I'm pretty lucky my loss has continued this week as I was shithouse around the mountain and hade some terrible food (including pizza one night delivered in). No more: I'm dropping the crap and the processed shit as much as I can.

Had a veg soup for tea last night along with some lamb chops.

Anyway, go me with the weight. I just want to keep pushing. 15 would be good, then 20, then 25.

But I guess 12 is next.

Day 63: 9 weeks

Well, I sat around a bonfire last night, just as I did 9 weeks ago to the day.

This time though, I wasn't drinking. And had been for a walk that day around Mt-Cootha, and will be going for a walk today (in a few minutes actually).

I also stuck to my "no processed food" rule last night, as best I could, and did not eat chips or marshmallows for that reason.

I'm giving myself another 24 hours for the weight-in, as I just feel bloated because of all the crap I ate on Friday and the volume of food I ate yesterday. I just want to crack the 10 for real and get it fucking over with - so I can move onto 11! So I'm really going to try and watch what I eat today, and not pig out. I want to feel lean, not bloated like I do now.

I would like to eat some fish today if I could. I like the idea of eating fish a couple of times a week. I think in the 9 weeks I've been thinking about this stuff I haven't eaten it once, which isn't great.

9 weeks, 63 days is pretty good. That's starting to become a long campaign, if you count the days one by one. It's scary how quickly the days roll on.

My brother in law is off the piss for 3 months as well, to try and get his liver in order. Will be interesting to see how he goes.

On the food I'm clearly eating too much, as well as too much crap. I should be waking up hungry for starters. If you wake up and are not hungry then I think you have eaten too much the day before. Similarly, you should be hungry for each meal. I don't buy this 6 meals per day bullshit really. I think you are better off not snacking and eating real meals that bring you joy and are worth waiting for.

Anyway, I'll see how I go today with my new "no processed food", "don't be a pig" approach.

Day 62: Want to improve food

Ok, so i went around the hill just fine today. Much stronger than during the week.

Food wasn't so good last night. A pizza was ordered by someone other than me, and I gobbled it up.

No good.

So this is what I'm trying to do. Drop processed food. For real. No nibbling on a bowl of chips. No peanut butter from a jar. No crap. No crap from the food court.

Just healthy fresh stuff. The stuff you know you should eat. But often don't.

I think this is the next, and hopefully last stage for me. No piss, lots of exercise, and now, cutting out the crap, and not eating processed shit.

Means I need to cook cook cook. Lots of veges. Some meat.

So that's what I'm up to.

Day 61: First weight loss comment!

Had another day off today. Sleep deprived a little. Bit flat. So had a day off.

Will walk the hill Saturday morn.

Hey almost forgot, got my first weight loss complement today, from a woman at work who I don't know. She asked how my Dry July drinking was going and said she could tell I had lost weight, "How much have you dropped", she said. It was in the lift.

Very motivating.

Day 60; Slow around the hill

Well, around the hill I went. Calf was ok, although I was slower (about 5-10 mins). I think I am just tired in week 3 of hard exercise. I wonder if you push through this and feel better about everything.

Good news is I had lunch today at a nice restaurant and didn't think about drinking at all.

Will be interesting to see if any lighter on Monday or if honeymoon weight loss period is over.

Not sure if terminator mother is coming tomorrow or not.

Day 59: Day off

I'm having today off. Had a horror day yesterday. Awake from 3.30, calf blow out at 6.30, tired, exhausted, a bit low about it all. Even had to go to a fancy restaurant (2nd work lunch in as many days) to entertain a client and watch them enjoy a glass of their finest.

Well to be honest the grog part didn't bother me.

I was just fucking exhausted and have a dodgy calf. Today is part calf recovery day and part mental health day.

I'm in my 9th week off the sauce this week. It would be interesting to do a graph to track motivation. I've had a long held theory that people can keep things up for about 3 months and then lose it. That's what happened to me in 2000 with grog.

I think it can be different this time. Grog isn't as important to me as it was when I was 25/26. Plus the need to focus on health is greater. Sure I will have my ups and downs (and some of this will be my body freaking out or getting tired) but I think if I just keep things up, even if it isn't every day around the hill, then I will continue to move in the right direction.

I can also make a much greater effort to improve my food. No crap chocolate cake at work functions for starters. Only healthy, fresh food for me please. Any crap I have to make myself, from scratch, how about that.

Day 58 Part III: Calf

Well I think I've pulled my calf muscle trying to jog up a hill.

Need to just walk till healed.

Day 58 Part II: Crap pub lunch

I had to drive to Ipswich yesterday, and have lunch at a crap, RSL style place, with shit food, pokies, and a truck load of bogans.

Not to mention the bar.

I must say, it was hard. I walked up to the bar. The only reason to be a hellhole like that is to order a schooner. I didn't. But it was certainly on my mind.

You don't have to be an alcoholic to have a hankering for a beer. Especially if it has been 58 days since you have had one.

I wonder if that ever goes away.

Day 58: Bit low

Did I tell you my girlfriend snores like a freight train. Or an elephant gun.

Unbelievable. So that has gotten me out of bed an hour or more earlier than I should have. And the time I should have gotten out of bed - 4.45am - is obscene in itself.

That will fuck up my whole day.

I'm a bit down on the walk this week. I don't know if it is because I am tired from doing it for two weeks, or if I feel that I'm not losing as I was, I don't know. The answer of course is to keep going, no matter how you feel, because you have to keep plodding, plodding along to a healthier, leaner, grog free existence.

Or so goes the mantra.

You can see the attraction of wretched debauchery. Of throwing caution to the wind. Of getting pissed, eating at fancy restaurants all afternoon, of wild women, bad manners, and fuck all exercise.

That's man's natural state, really. If we are honest.

This trudging off into the fucking dark with your 60 year old mother to look at glowing spider eyes and hope you eat less and get thinner is all a bit fucking depressing.

Perhaps I'm just shitty because I've been up for a fucking hour already.

I have never regretted the exercise once I've dragged my fat arse out the door. By contrast, I have almost always regretted binge drinking.

Almost.

It's hard to have a wild one sober. Not because you wouldn't be up for it, but I think your drinking companion wouldn't drink enough to be up for it. And perhaps you yourself lack a bit of dutch courage to push things along.

Anyway, I must find my shoes. The terminator will arrive in 15 minutes, exactly.

Day 57: Back in it

I didn't walk yesterday. I ran out of time. You need to go at the first available opportunity.

I went this morning. I didn't want to, to be honest. But I did it. I was a bit slow. But I did it.

Still want to walk 6 times this week, one way or the other.

Day 56: 8 weeks 9.5kg total .5kg for week

Well, it was disappointing that I only knocked off half a kilo this week. I haven't cracked the 10 after all. I jumped the gun on that one.

It was all the crap food - and in particular the volume of food I've had in the last day or so - that did me in. I'm pretty sure if I'd eaten normally in the past day or so I would have cracked it.

But the scales are what they are.

I should reflect on the fact that it has been 8 weeks. I've now equalled my 2007 effort off the piss - 8kg in 8 weeks - when I was training for a hike.

It was a beer tasting that broke me then, and a pub.

So if I'm pleased about that. It means I've been off the piss for the longest time since 2000, when I was off the piss for 13 weeks and lost 13 kg (anyone sensing a pattern?).

Anyway, where was I with the weight? Ah, I think the rational conclusion has to be that I'm not superman, I do not have a free food pass, and if I can lose a strong, real, kilo a week on average on an ongoing basis then I'm actually doing pretty fucking well. And that's the goal.

That means I would like to lose 11 in 10 weeks, and then 20kg in 20 weeks. 20kg is not to be sneezed at. That's a worthy goal, and a fine reward for giving up the world's most social drink.

This week then, I think the main focus, again, will be on the 6 walks out of 7. And for week 10 as well. Hopefully this will establish it as a habit.

At the same time, clearly I have to improve the quality of my food. If I am distressed I can eat more healthy food, but I have to avoid the fried crap for starters if I am fair dinkum about knocking off the kilos. You don't lose weight eating buckets of hot chips. No one does.

Day 55: Part 3

One other benefit of not being on the grog, which I have not mentioned yet, is that you argue a lot less with your girlfriend.

I've noticed that. I haven't been as irritable. Haven't cracked the shits.

By contrast, I've noticed that when she is hungover that she is very irritable, and that now is the only time we barny.

I used to look for fights (not physical) either when I'd been on the turps for a while, or if I was hungover.

So if it is a goal to improve your relationship, and you are having the odd bingle, then giving up the turps may be an idea.

Day 55 Part 2: 6 out of 7

Well, I walked 6 days out of 7 around Mt Cootha. That isn't easy and has really taken 8 weeks of effort to build up to. But now, assuming I can maintain it, it will be the backbone of my fitness drive over the next 44 weeks.

It was beautiful out there today. Nice and crisp. A clear sky and gentle breeze.

It was a little bit strange walking around in the sunlight after so many times in the dark. I was able to go faster than I normally do when I can't see properly.

Unfortunately I took a little tumble and took some bark of my left leg (two spots). That should complement some of the scars on my right leg. I fell heavily and landed on my hands. Luckily I didn't break my wrist or I would be writing this entry with my tongue.

Anyway, weigh in tomorrow. Not going to worry about that, I just want to maintain my new walking standard.

Day 55: Almost 6 out of 7.......

Well, if I shuffle off into the light today (Saturday) then I will have walked the hill 6 days of 7.

Gotta do that!

Had big end of year function last night. What tacky events those things are. 100 people getting pissed, thinking they are the shit in some cases. But really just being pissed. Drunkenly laughing, guys swaying closer and closer to their ladies of choice - or in many cases, any ladies - in the hope that their drunken antics and jokes will win their affections.

Of course, in some cases they do, and then I guess it is all worth while.

Meanwhile, I was not a saint. Off the piss, to be sure, but I guess if you have a stupid function like this you end up eating the crap food that did the rounds. And crap it was. Appalling. But I ate it anyway. I guess I was hungry.

One pommy came to talk to me about beer. He wanted to know my views on a number of issues. We spoke about 10 beers, and I was a little thirsty by the end of it. But I just ended up driving home.

I've decided being pissed at a work function is really not a good look. At least it isn't a good look when you are sober.

I ate so much I'm not confident I will have cracked the 10 tomorrow. Maybe I've really got to man up and end up doing the longer walk today to ensure just that. I do need to get another mindset on the food. I really should stick to food I have prepared most of the time. It just ends in tears otherwise. I need to be able to plan ahead, or have quick meals.

Anyway, I'm going to wait until the day heats up a bit before going off. No need to do an early trudge on a Saturday.

Day 54: End of year piss up

I thought I'd mention, for those still interested in the grog side of things (like me), that my employer has a bumper end of year party tonight. I can tell you people will be drinking like fish.

But I shall not be tempted.

I've also signed up for "Dry July", which is no skin off my nose as I'm already doing "Dry 2010", or whatever this fucking thing is called.

Had yesterday off the walks, after 4 days, but back into the dark in 10 minutes. Pretty pleased, because if I walk today and tomorrow then I will have walked 6 out of 7 which was the plan.

Day 53: Reality check

Well, time to reassess a little. After my 10kg extravaganza, I didn't have a particularly good food day yesterday - too much, and some crap for both lunch and dinner. Nice and healthy mate!

I'd got it in my idiot brain that I was invincible due to my daily walk.

Well, I'm taking this morning off after 4 days (I won't beat myself up over that - listen to your body and all that), so I hopped on the scales looking for a miracle couple of extra kilos to have fallen off; how about 2.5 even, isn't that how it works?

I'm back UNDER 10 again. 9.5.

So what does this mean?

Well, don't weigh yourself every day you dickhead, for starters. If you do that, you obsess over daily numbers for starters, which are meaningless, and focus less on the process and habits, which are everything.

So that's it: scales are banned other than on Sunday mornings (weigh day).

What else does it mean?

Well I'm not invincible, this is a slow, tough gig that requires constant vigilance. In particular, my walking is not a free pass to hot chips, or crap sushi. Hot chips and deep fried "sushi" leads to numbers going in the wrong direction, not the right one.

So what's the plan? Goal is still 6 walks in 7. I'm on track for this - I just need to walk Friday and Saturday. It will be interesting next week though, as I get distressed after 3 days around the hill. Both times, I have eaten crap after the 3 days, as though my body is freaking out (in this case I walked 4 and ate crap on the 4th day).

Perhaps in time as my fitness improves I can extend this. I think that will be what happens.

And anyway, one week at a time. So, I need to walk Friday and Sat around the hill (preferably the big walk on Sat). And I don't want to eat out at all during that time.

That's it big boy, make lunch and dinner for each of the next three days.